shrug-l: A GIS Advice Column?

Pollock, William pollocw at
Fri Jun 15 09:25:41 EDT 2007

A GIS Advice Column? 
Letters to Aunt Poly...

Dear Aunt Poly,

My name is .tiffany Image and I am 12 years old. I am a very responsible
girl and I always keep my pixels organized like my parents have taught
me. Before I go out I make sure I have them all arranged nice and
neatly. As my parents always say, Image is everything.

My problem is my 8-year old brother .jpeg. He is a total slob! When
friends ask him over to play, he is out the door in a flash. He leaves
his pixels all over the house and never picks up after himself. Often he
loses 80%, even 90% of his pixels! His teachers say he is ADD and
unresolved. I say he is irresponsible. It's really not fair, but my
parents just say that I have to be more responsible because I am older.
Aunt Poly, how can I teach my little brother to stop being a slob and
degrading the family Image?

Dear Aunt Poly,

I'm a geodatabase featureset, just starting my sophomore year in high
school. I like hanging out and interfacing with the other objects in my
geodatabase. Lately it seems like I'm always in trouble with my parents.
They are both coverages and are really strict! I try to do my chores and
schoolwork, but the least little gap or dangle, and they go totally
command-line of me - I'm locked down in edit mode, no interfacing, no
hanging out, not even ODBC calls until I clean and rebuild everything!
Aunty Poly, my friends' parents are all shapefiles, and they're not
nearly so strict. How can I get my parents to lighten up and let me have
a little fun?

Dear Aunt Poly,

I always took pride in my data lineage and relations. My parents told me
I was descended from original double-precision stereophotogrammetry with
first-order control and full AAT. Recently in my spare time I began
researching the family metadata. Aunt Poly, I was shocked! I've found
I'm originally from uncontrolled TIGER line files and old DLG data, with
no standards of precision or accuracy! Aunty Poly, I'm mortified. How
can I possibly look my friends in the eye? How can I forgive my parents
for lying to me? Can I possibly overcome this background to make
something of myself?

Dear Aunt Poly,

I'm a 22 year-old .dbf table from a small town in Alabama. My parents
raised me to maintain proper rows and columns and high data standards.
At a college party a few weeks ago I met a GIS file from New York. We
had some foreign keys in common and we started talking. He was so
interesting and sophisticated! We've dated every week and had several
long conversations. I was really beginning to fall for him, Aunty Poly,
when suddenly last night he went all graphic on me! He started talking
about table-joining with me, how some of my items were so mappable, how
great I'd look in 16M colors, how he wanted to see my shape points, oh,
Aunt Poly, I can't repeat the rest! I was shocked! Aunt Poly, I don't
know what to do! Can I have a nice table relationship with him? Or is he
just one of those polymorphic objects my parents warned me about? 

-------------- next part --------------
An HTML attachment was scrubbed...

More information about the SHRUG-L mailing list